I Learned By Watching You
There are moments when I am keenly aware that I am being watched. Over the weekend I was working on some projects and took my daughter to Home Depot (my store of choice for obvious reasons) to pick up some light fixtures. Shopping for light fixtures isn’t that exciting and I noticed at one point that my 6 year-old was entertaining herself by copying my various postures as I hunted for the right light. Hands oh hip, thinking man, scratching my head, stroking my beard, she was copying all of them as best she could with a big smile on her face hoping that Daddy would notice.
Our chore chart. My wife whipped this up on the computer then put it in a frame so we could use a dry erase marker on the glass.
I noticed and had some fun with it. I was also reminded that I am always being watched by little eyes. We have a 6 year-old and an almost 2 year-old who are watching what Mommy and Daddy do. How we talk to people, what we do around the house, and for the purposes of this post, how we spend our money. Financial literacy and behavior are quite often life-long lessons that are learned at home. Breaking poor financial habits can be a great challenge, so we strive to teach and demonstrate good lessons for our children.
I’d like to share a few quick things we are trying with our girls and then I would solicit your ideas at the end of the post…
Earned Income
We want our children to know that money doesn’t grow on trees and that pennies don’t fall from heaven. Money is something that is earned and Mommy and Daddy aren’t made of money. Our oldest daughter has a chore chart with 10 items on it. Each night we sit down and review the day. She gets paid a nickle per task and must complete at least 7 of the 10 tasks each day to get paid. Some tasks are bigger than others. A few examples include laying out clothes for school, feeding the cat, keeping her room clean, etc. She can earn bonus money by doing extra things around the house.
The days when she doesn’t get paid can sometimes be rough but are a good opportunity to learn about responsibility and earning an income. The chart was started with a goal in mind. Our daughter wanted to go to “Build-A-Bear” and we felt this was the perfect opportunity to learn about planning and budgeting. My wife and daughter took a trip to our local “Build-A-Bear” and found the bear she wanted (which happened to be on the lower end of the price scale) and an outfit for the bear. They added up the cost and found that she could earn enough money for the bear if she did all of her tasks for about a month and a half.
Kids and adults can lose focus while saving to meet a goal. Our daughter lost focus every once in a while but a quick swing by the “Build-A-Bear” store helped to refocus things. We have tried to model behavior by talking about our budgeting and planning for expenses as a family. I recently read a post by Michael Nichols who has taken this concept to the next level with his 8 year-old. They have been paying their daughter a $25 allowance each week since she was 5. After setting aside money for God and savings (which we also do) she is allowed to spend the money as she likes. But she must also buy her own clothes, shoes, and other items.
Gifts are Good
Our daughter recently had a birthday and received some cash in her cards. A few folks from church were aware of what we were doing and even noted that the money was for her “Build-A-Bear” fund. Some parents might feel that this generosity might disrupt their plan, but we felt it was a perfect part of the lessons we are trying to teach. My wife and I have been recipients of much kindness and generosity from family and friends over the years. The generosity of our friends helped our daughter to reach her goal more quickly than expected. She put the excess money in her piggy bank for safe keeping. Children have to learn to be responsible with gifts and unexpected income too.
Always Use A Coupon
My wife is the master of couponing. It is rare for her to spend any money without having a coupon. Our daughter has grown up watching us use coupons, calling them ‘poop-ons’ when she was just learning to talk. Did you know there are coupons out there for “Build-A-Bear”?
The girls went to “Build-A-Bear” this weekend while I was out of town on business. My wife told our daughter about the coupon and taught her that the value of the coupon would allow her to get an accessory for her bear for free. Basic couponing is an easy way to make your money go further.
Earning Things Feels Good
Our very happy and proud daughter with her new bear “Snowflake.”
Our daughter had a big smile on her face as she paid for her bear with her money. Snowflake is a prized possession, for now, but has also been a great first financial lesson of many for our daughter. My wife and I have the goal of teaching and modeling responsible, productive behavior to our children, while having some fun along the way. We know that our children are learning by watching us. Now that the first milestone has been reached we will set some new goals and perhaps bump things up a bit.
What about you? How did you teach your children about money? I would be very curious to hear what types of activities, plans and methods you currently use or used as your children were growing up. I personally believe that wise money management can impact every facet of our lives, marriages, and families. Please share your ideas and thoughts in the comments section below…
We did a similar thing with our son, saving up for Thomas the Tank Engine toys. As he earned a dollar, we put it in a clear jar so he could see it filling up! (We still have those toys, prized possession, you know. 😀
When the kids were about 5th-6th grade, they started a recycling business for our neighborhood, where they collected recyclables and took them to the precinct barn. Excellent lessons learned about customer service, sticking with it,and the value of work = money.
I also think our own behavior with money probably influenced them a great deal, as well as the fact that they took the Dave Ramsey FPU course as teenagers.
Wow! A recycling business. That is a cool thing to do. Those were some amazing lessons you taught your kids Sarah!
When our kids were pre-teen, they did not get an allowance because I simply did not have it to give. I was a single parent for nearly seven years, and every penny was needed to live. They fussed about not getting the allowance, but I quickly reminded them that they were part of the family, and as a family member we all worked together. They were responsible for keeping their rooms clean, emptying trash, feeding the dog, etc. By the time they were 10 and 12 they also were doing their own laundry because for some strange reason they felt that I should ‘hunt’ for dirty clothes and fussed because such n such was not clean. Solution: teach them to take care of it themselves. When they were in middle school, they received $20 a week, which they had to budget for school lunches and any other activity they participated in. They even used that money for the $1 or $2 that was needed for a youth activity. We always paid for church camp. They both had part time jobs when they turned 16 because we told them that part of the responsibility of having a driver’s license was to be able to put gas in the tank, pay for insurance and maint. on the car. We provided the vehicle (an older model), but they were responsible for it after that. There were times when we helped with gas or insurance, and even paid for most of the repairs, but they learned to budget their money because we did not have extra to give.
Because they were not handed everything, and had to work for their money, as young adults, they have an incredible sense of responsibility with their money (both are debt free) and they have an amazing work ethics.
You are doing an amazing job with your girls, and I love reading your blogs. Thank you for living Christ.
Thanks for the great thoughts and for sharing your experiences Mary! I really enjoy reading about how other people did it, especially when their kids are grown and I can see how it all worked out 😉
Jon, I love your blog! Just a note regarding kids and finances…It’s always a balancing act in knowing how far to go in providing things for your kids versus what they’re expected to provide for themselves. May I offer this one thing: When each of our 3 kids got to be driving age, we opted to pay half of their drivers education (Sears driving school). I knew I’d be too impatient to do the state parent-taught thing; and maintaining a good parent-child relationship was worth more than the cost of driving school. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, and this seemed an easy choice.
Thanks Doug! You’re absolutely right about picking your battles. I’ve seen it with the teens I work with and I see it with my own little girls. Definitely some great advice!