Over the past few weeks I have written about media piracy and the music industry but have provided very few ideas, tips, or tools to use as a parent.  A big part of writing this series, and my presentation on media, is going beyond pointing out the issues at hand by providing real and actionable ideas for families to work with.  Here are some tried and true ideas to help parents guide young and growing minds and help make good choices in managing music….

Ask Kids To Unplug

Media devices have become ultra-portable.  Kids can easily carry an entire music collection with them on a phone or MP3 player.  Many kids will wear earbuds or headphones while in the car, at the store, or even at home.  Encourage your children to put away the headphones while in the car or at a store.  While in the car, invite them to play some of their music on the car stereo for everyone to listen to.  Parents also need to lead by example in this area.  If a parent is constantly pecking away at their mobile device, it will be hard to ask kids to exercise discernment in using their mobile device.

Listen To Music Together

Listening to the music of your teenager can give a lot of insight into what they are thinking and feeling.  Some quieter kids may not express feelings and emotions in words but might listen to music that is of a similar mindset and attitude.  Listen without judging but if particularly troublesome material comes up, try and open a dialog.  Your children might also really enjoy listening to your tunes.  My young kids really enjoy the music I listen to.  The teenagers I work with really enjoy the 80’s rock that many of their parents listen to.

Listening to music together can be a fun and educational experience.  I still remember as a little kid riding along with my Dad in the family station wagon listening to the music of my Dad’s youth.  He would tell stories about growing up and what certain songs meant to him.  This type of sharing can build great bonds.

Parents: Be A Model

As in most dealings with kids, parents need to lead by example.  If a parent wants their child to make discerning selections in music, then the parent needs to be careful too.  Parents who listen to music with foul language, vulgarity, and adult themes can’t expect their kids to magically develop a moral imperative in their music selections.  Carefully lead your children in this area and make sure that your phone, tablet, or other device only has music that you would feel comfortable with your kids knowing about.

Actively Discourage Music Piracy

I have written extensively about the moral and ethical dangers of stealing music.  Illegal downloading of music, movies, and other media is a crime that costs our country billions of dollars a year.  Make it explicitly clear to your children that illegal downloads will not be tolerated.  Teach them about Pandora, Spotify, and other free to use music services.  (Did you know Pandora has an explicit language filter?)  Parents can also encourage legal downloads by setting up a monthly media allowance for the iTunes store.  Parental controls can also be setup for playback content on iTunes and any Apple device.

Some parents related to me the way they taught their son a lesson about illegal downloads.  In dealing with an ongoing issue with illegal downloads, they decided to teach a physical lesson.  While the son was away at school they would take something from his room everyday and store it in a hidden location.  A few weeks went by without the son noticing…they said his room was pretty messy.  As they started taking larger, more important items he finally noticed.  Panic set in for the teenage son.  He came to his parents and exclaimed that, “Someone has been stealing my stuff!”  The parents asked how he felt about this.  Then they revealed their cache of his possessions.  It was a powerful lesson that brought an end to online piracy in their home.

That technique might not be a good fit for all families but teaching against media piracy is essential for every family.

Keep An Eye On Mobile Devices

Media devices should be an open book for the entire family.  Parents need to occasionally check and see what is on the phones, tablets, and computers their kids have been using.  This doesn’t have to be a ‘gestapo’ experience.  Start young and use it as an opportunity to ask questions, see what fun games they are playing, and learn about new apps and technology.

Spouses should also be willing to let each other use and look through their mobile devices and computers.  Some will disagree, saying this is an invasion of privacy.  In today’s world of easy access to anything it is important to have transparency within relationships of trust and accountability.  A child or spouse who is overly protective of their phone or other media device should raise a red flag.

Guiding Principles

All of the suggestions above are some ideas for hands-on management of media and media devices.  It is also good to teach your children lifelong guiding principles that they can use in making wise media decisions.  I use Philippians 4:8 from the New Testament as the ‘measuring stick’ for media choices.  So far we have looked at the guiding principles of true, honorable, just, pure, and lovely.  Today we add the guiding principle of commendable.

A lot of our entertainment is meant to help us escape the realities of our challenging lives.  I am a big fan of ‘escapism.’  But even when we are trying to get away we still need to view and listen to things that are commendable.  Even the silliest of shows can have some commendable qualities but some shows go beyond what could be classified as commendable.

Let me give you a quick example from the rap world and then wrap this post up.  There is an interesting trend among rap superstars.  Jay-Z has been referring to himself as ‘Hova’ for years.  Kanye West recently started referring to himself as ‘Yeezus.’  And Eminem on his soon to be released album wrote a song about himself titled, “Rap God.”  All of these terms either directly or implicitly are forms of self-deification for these artists.  There is nothing commendable about a performer putting themselves on par with God.

This is the ninth installment in this series.  Click HERE to view all posts.  Also, do you have a technique that worked for your family?  I would love to hear about it in the comments section below…

Family Worship Series

The series of brief weekly worship guides for families continues this week.  Check it out >>> Week 42 – Egypt Attacks Jerusalem