It is my belief that internet pornography will destroy more Christian homes than drugs and alcohol combined.  Think about it for a second.  How many marriages or families can you think of that have been broken or forever changed by the viewing of internet pornography or an online affair?  I easily need two hands to count the broken homes I can think of off the top of my head.  Internet pornography is free, relatively unregulated, corrupting, and addicting.

Everyone Is Doing It

A good portion of society, marriage counselors, and psychiatrists would have you believe that viewing pornography is a healthy part of our human nature and productive for marriage.  If you believe that, I have some ocean front property in Oklahoma I would like to sell you.  Most studies about internet pornography have found that it is being viewed by an increasing percentage of most age and gender groups.  You read that right.  Men and women of a variety of ages from elementary through retirement age are actively viewing internet pornography.

Research about internet pornography is often varies greatly, but we can safely assume that all of our children will view internet pornography at some point, even if it is accidental.  Most research indicates that the first exposure to online pornography happens anywhere from age 8 to age 10.  If you have ever Googled just about any term you know how easily this can happen.  Just the other day I was searching the term “chef, mustache” and BAM there are naked women in the third row of my ‘safe search’ results.

Filters, tracking software, and other parental control software can all try to slow the tsunami of filth but there is no way to block it out completely.  It is my belief that parents must talk to their children openly about pornography and if appropriate share personal testimony about the harmful effects of something that is viewed as harmless by much of society.

Warning Signs

Following are just a few warning signs that you might look for with your teenager or spouse.  Remember that this issue is impacting males and females, young and old:

• Long and frequent periods of time spent in a locked bathroom, especially if a mobile phone, tablet, or laptop is involved.
• An erased internet history on the phone or the computer.  If it happens just once in a while it is probably part of good maintenance.  If it is always erased this should raise a red flag.
• A resistance to sharing an electronic device like a phone, tablet, or laptop.  All devices should be readily accessible between parent and child or spouses.
• A thumb drive that is always with them.  This could be part of being tech prepared, but pornography addicts will often keep a thumb drive of images and movies on or near them for protection.  Internet browsers such as Firefox and Chrome can also be run from a thumb drive which conceals any usage history from the computer.
• Staying up late after parents or spouses have gone to bed.
• A special desire to stay home alone, especially when the family is going out to do something that is fun.
• If married, a loss of sexual interest or introduction of radical new activities.

This is just a sampling of warning signs.  These behaviors may be a normal part of the routine for your child or spouse, but it is worth noting and following up on.  Gone are the days of looking under the mattress for a stash of magazines.

Immediate and Eternal Consequences

The pornography industry has an impact on those who are a part of the industry, those who are consumers, and innocent bystanders.  There are some within the industry who are happy to participate in these activities and perhaps even enjoy them.  But countless others are forced into the industry to support drug habits, by controlling partners, or even completely without their knowledge.  The industry is a multi-billion dollar a year enterprise that takes advantage of many and leaves a path of destruction behind.

There is a growing population of sons, daughters, mothers, and fathers who are caught up in legal battles defending against underage pornography.  Many have found themselves in expensive battles for their freedom, as the recipient of an unsolicited image that was received in a text from a friend to the unintentional viewing of underage pornography on free pornographic sites.  Digital ‘breadcrumbs’ have led to many challenging and costly legal battles as the law tries to catch up with the frenzied pace of technology.

And of course the Bible has a bit to say about the subject.  As part of His teaching in the sermon on the mount, Jesus Christ taught the following:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.  (Matthew 5:27-30)

One cannot look at pornography and not lust, that is the entire intent of the material.  Jesus wasn’t saying that we should literally gouge out our eyes and cut off our hands, but that we should cast out anything that causes us to stumble.  If you can’t stop looking at pornography on your smart phone then you need to get rid of it and get a dumb phone.  The ten commandments were concerned with the act but Christ’s command cuts to the heart of the matter….lust.

Guiding Principles

Throughout this series of posts I have been promoting the need for guiding principles for our families.  There is simply no way you can block out pornography from your home.  Guiding principles help instill within the entire family the qualities that all decisions are measured by.  We have been using Philippians 4:8…

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

This week we look at “if there is any excellence.”  The easy rule with internet pornography is that it doesn’t measure up to this standard.  There is nothing excellent about it.  The industry and even some marriage counselors will try to pitch it as a way to “enhance the romance” in your marriage.  Bringing someone else into your marriage, even if it is virtual, will never end well.  Excellence can be found in a lot of things, but you will not find it in internet pornography.

Resources for Help

One of the best online resources for help is SettingCaptivesFree.com.  The daily online accountability course guides the student through a course of scripture and dialogue about pornography.

Additionally I would suggest contacting the leadership of your church if you or someone in your family has an issue with pornography.  The shepherds of your congregation should be willing to help you, or find the appropriate resources to deal with this need.  Helping families with internet pornography is an issue that church leadership needs to be prepared to handle.

I appreciate you reading through this post about a difficult subject.  You can find other posts from this series here.  Would you consider sharing this post via email or social media using the buttons below?  Additionally if you have a question or comment please leave it below.